Friday, June 08, 2007

Living for the eternal

I do believe that Christ took the judgment from God that I rightly deserve by dying on the Cross and through that He gave me His righteousness and the gift of eternal life in Heaven, BUT if I were to die right now and go to Heaven but find that Christ was not there, would I be OK with that? Something to ponder... as Christians it's so easy for us to say "oh yeah I believe I'm going to Heaven" but do we really understand why we should want to go to Heaven?

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Why do we do the things we do?

Maybe, it's because the year is winding down and everyone's in that sentimental/reminiscent mood, but last week reflecting back on the things i've done this year, it has made me wonder why i do certain things. For example last week when i went out with nate and benson to share the gospel with nate's friend over dinner, i really didn't feel that my mind and heart were truly there. Afterwards I felt that I had really failed God by not praying and plainly by just not centering my heart on Him. I mean I understand that as it says in Romans 1:16 "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." I am not the one doing the saving, it's God, but there's still that responsibility on my part to be a faithful servant to God with what He gives me. So I guess it all boils down to: am I doing ministry things, devos, prayer, or even going to church etc just for the sake of doing them and going through the motions, or am I here to glorify God and to worship Him in all that I do? because if not, it's more than just a disservice to God, I'm a hypocrite. God, I am such a sinner, my actions are so futile, please Lord help me in this.

I'll end this post with a little reminder from our good ol' friend John Piper - "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever."

Man, I want my life to be like THAT

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

a reminder to the brevity of life...

RIP IAIN ALEXANDER KNIGHT
Rest in peace brotha, you always told it like it was, your sense of humor, your genuineness, you will be missed...

"As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years, or if due to strength, eighty years, yet their pride is but labor and sorrow; for soon it is gone and we fly away. Who understands the power of Your anger and Your fury, according to the fear that is due You? So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom. Do return, O Lord; how long will it be? -Psalm 90:10-13

This post is a bit overdue, but has been on my mind for a long time now. My friend from high school passed away over Mother's Day weekend, thinking about it really put things in perspective for me. I know when I go out fishing I always tell people that life is short, and we really don't have 100% certainty that we'll even live to see tomorrow, but this really hit home for me. I hope this can really push me towards sharing the Gospel with my non-believing friends. After all if God is to us as the treasure is to the man in Matthew 13:44, then why would we not want to share Him with our "friends" I put quotations around friends because looking at the eternal perspective on things, our friendships here on Earth are so brief, but if we have that little inkling of possibility that they could be brothers and sisters with us in heaven, then why not? God please change my man-fearing heart!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

I'm back

Hey so long time no post on this thing. These past two weeks were a struggle, but I'm back baby! Last night I dwelled on my lack of happiness lately and wondered where the heck is my joy? One verse kept popping in my mind: "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 Yes Paul, I know. I thought about that verse as I reread the first chapter in Desiring God where Piper discusses the sovereignty of God and His narrow and wide lens. This chapter truly put events in perspective, especially the bad ones, why is it that I'm having such a difficult time dealing with issues at home that are out of my control? Do I not trust in God's provision? When David fought Goliath, he had confidence that God would protect him just as He had done so many times before when he fought lions and bears while tending sheep. God has already provided me with so much, and I ought to honor and glorify Him in both my heart and my actions. Just looking back on my life and the path that God led me through to come to salvation is a sweet, sweet thing!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Spring!

It's gonna be a BUSY quarter. Big quarter, doin big thangs; all for God's glory of course. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." - Philipians 4:13

Break however was too short, leaving felt somewhat bittersweet. Thank the Lord for all He has done and is doing within the hearts of my family. I just wish I could be there to see it.

Monday, March 19, 2007

The Power of Prayer

Sometimes I forget about how powerful prayer is and rely on my own power, thinking that there are things that I can do on my own. But through these past two weeks, I'm seeing the power of prayer right before my eyes. One instance being my family suddenly deciding to go to church, which they have been doing so for about 3-4 consecutive weeks now. Hopefully this is a good church, I'm going to check it out over break (I don't know anything about it), but praise God for answering my prayers since last summer!!! So just a reminder to all you guys out there, through faith and the right motives, God can do all things. And remember to PRAY what is on your heart. God sometimes answers prayers in ways we don't expect, but He is faithful none the less. Good luck with finals everyone who still has them, and have a good Spring Break!

"So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" -Luke 11:9-13

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Stop being so stubborn

Funny how whenever there is a paper, or a big test coming up, I still find a way to procrastinate like RIGHT NOW!!! So this past day or two I have been reflecting upon my life, what happened in my life earlier on, the direction that God is leading me, and where I see myself in the future. Trust me, the distant future is not something I am accustomed to dwelling on, not to mention even what I'm doing in the near future like next week...I like to think of myself as someone who takes life as it comes, and hopefully consistently trusting in God to provide, but I guess one of the reasons that caused me to think about these things is finally deciding on my major. Right now, it is linguistics and east asian languages...as of now...hopefully I can say this with more confidence when I reflect on this decision more... But anyways I've been sort of worrying (not actively, but it's looming in the back of my mind) about whether or not I'm making the right decisions in life, fearing I'm not getting the most out of my opportunities here at UCLA, that I'm not preparing myself for the future, if I ever have a family would I be able to provide for them? Those sort of worries. But I realize those thoughts were sinful, I wasn't just contemplating those ideas, I was actually worrying. Worrying about what?...that God wouldn't provide?


NO WAY

Recalling Joe Penberthy's sermon during Crossroads "The Cure for Anxiety" about a month ago:

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown in to the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.. But seek first His kindom and His righteiousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

That was a pretty good sermon I must say... My anxiety is a lack of trust, and my lack of trust is sin. God I cast down all my sinful worries and run to You because You are both sovereign and immensely loving among other immeasureable things, I just want to follow the path that You have laid out for me. Where are You leading me? I don't know, but if have true faith that You will provide everything I need, why would I need to worry about anything at all?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Will of God IS my Life

Take my will and make it thine,
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart--it is thine own,
It shall be thy royal throne.

I hope my heart attitude can be like the words in this hymn, it's not my will or my wants, but it is God's will and what God wants for me in my life. Seems simple enough...right?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

RESOLVED

Resolved was just amazing, Rick Holland, John MacArthur, Steve Lawson, CJ Mahaney, and John Piper...WOW... so many godly people in one place. Surprisingly they were hilarious up on stage joking with each other during the panel, never did I expect to see that side of those guys. Hearing John Piper and CJ Mahaney preach for the first time was awesome, just hearing the authors of the books I've read, preach those messages aloud in real-life was a unique experience. The worship was awesome and so powerful too, man the Crossroads Band is sooo good. Most importantly though is that God was glorified this weekend at Resolved, no matter how good the preachers, or how good the band, in the end our purpose here is to glorify God, and I hope He was pleased. I'm quite tired now, but a very content kind of tired, this weekend seemed too short and everything went by so fast. I'm going to have to go through my notes again...I can barely remember what the first session was about. So many things floating around in my head, I'll organize them soon enough. Some themes that stick out in my mind right now:
1) to live my life sold-out to Christ
2) if you ever think that you can do something deserving of of God's love, then you will never be secure in your salvation because it's NEVER enough, only through Christ.
3) God was pleased to crush His Son

Man, I am unworthy of this love.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Long time no post

Hey sorry everyone for not updating this thing in a while, I've been busy with a lot of stuff, but it's all good!!! During ET tonight I was talking to Matt's friend who's a believer, and as she was sharing her testimony she told me that "the Christian life is like a roller coaster, filled with ups and downs." --edit--After thinking about this statement again later on, I realized that it is only partly true, in one way it is true because as we deal with trials and struggle within, we can feel like we are going down, and we finally do look to God that is when we start rising up.--edit--Man...can't wait for RESOLVED! Oh yeah one more thing, playing IM bball has definitely humbled me serverely. At least I got my first WIN last week! It was a loong two years, but thanks to everyone who came out tonight for our last game of the quarter unfortuantely. It's all about Spring Quarter!!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

What a musical night

Finally got the guts to work on the soundboard for GOC this past Friday. Well sorta, not really, it was mostly Chen and Benny with me sitting there acting like I knew what I was doing. It would be waaay to scary to do it on my own, oh wow just the thought of the pressure of screwing up and not knowing how to fix it... STILL managed to mess up when Justin was giving the call to worship haha... Practice makes perfect. Anyways it was awesome and so great to see that with God's help we were able to work through it and overcome BOTH speakers not working at random times. We are a silly bunch, singing as we work.

Oh I must add that Kung Pao Chicken is an awesome game, and Will looks handsome with a unibrow+beauty mole.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

You are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light...

Tonight's small group we went through Ephesians 5:3-21. Crazy stuff. God commands us to not let immorality, impurity, or greed to even be named among us. The main idea is that we were already made righteous by God as children of Light. Committing any sins of immorality, impurity, or greed means we our turning ourselves into something we're not. We can't just confess and repent and let ourselves repeat that over and over again. It's all or nothing because "no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, had an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God." -Ephesians 5:5. I never thought of myself as a Christian in that sense, that I am already made righteous by God, and sins of immorality are making me someone that goes against what God created. I pray that I continually remind myself of this and hold myself to this standard.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Don't be a FOOL

One week down already and fortunately for all of us we get a 3 day weekend. Man sooo much work already... That's one goal for the quarter: get good/better grades and do a better job with schoolwork in general. One of the ways I can honor God is by being a good steward of my role here as a student at UCLA. This has been one fun weekend so far minus the stupid NFL playoffs. Man my legs are tired from ballin' Friday and playing tackle football on Saturday. Dang I feel bad for hurting Mitchell's ankle when I tackled him, hopefully he's alright.
Going to prayer meeting on saturday and hearing about things and thoughts going through everyone's minds after coming back from break makes me want to put a real effort into hanging out with the guys more this quarter. As the Bible says 'iron sharpens iron' and as brothers in Christ we need to do likewise because trying to go it alone leads to more harm than good. Crossroads today felt really refreshing for some reason, maybe it's from not going to Grace church for the last few weeks or something. One thing Rick said that hit me hard was "what kind of fool would reject Christ, reject eternal life, and reject forgiveness of sins from a wrathful God???" It just made me think about how fortuanate I am to be a Christian, and to have the promise of eternal life and forgiveness of sins given to me from a loving God when I deserve nothing. Also it gave me a deep sense of pity for those who never get a chance to hear the Gospel told to them because of our failure as Christians to share the good news of our savior Jesus Christ. Then even more saddenning thing is to think of those who actually do hear the Gospel and reject it. I sometimes wonder if those people are actually grasping the idea of an all powerful Savior willing to demean Himself by becoming flesh on earth to be a servant to men just so He could be crucified and receive the wrath from the weight of all our sins. --edit--In the end it's all up to God. My perfectionist ways sometimes blind me into being too preoccupied with how I articulate the gospel. It's not about me, all I can do is get the gospel out there. God, make me bold!

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Break is over, and so it begins...

Got back to school Saturday night, the only interesting story about that is that I didn't know that meal plans didn't start until Sunday night for dinner...Man that sucked, had to survive during the day on hot cheetos and a cookie. Makes for a solid breakfast/lunch yum yum. Snowboarding was sooo much fun, definitely my highlight of break, but so painful afterwards. I can't believe my right shoulder is still so sore. Haha many good memories, sometimes it's not what you do on a trip, but the people you go with that make it really memorable. Ben Du's driving, fitting all the snowboards in Will's little car, trying to learn toe and eating it again and again (don't know how ben du does it...), the freakin scary fog and rain that tried to kill us, the almost endless train, Will talkin trash on our really nice waiter, learning from Mike what the true cause of food coma is, and chillin' at Will's house.

Winter break '07 was definitely unique. I've never felt so many emotional ups and downs in my life. From anger that made me want to punch walls in frustration, anger at mostly myself for the mistakes I make, sadness at life in both mine and when taking care of my grandparents and realizing that life is so short, but also joy in both seeing my family desire to go to church and thinking about the fact that as a Christian, I have hope and a knowledge of real truth that is an eternity with God the Father. One thing I need work on is to not dwell on sins I've committed, and to put them behind me after I repent. I'm looking forward to this quarter though, not so much the school and taking 18 units, but seeing how God is going to work in me and my brothers here at UCLA. As Richard is always telling me, follow the path that God creates for you, don't go trying to make your own path because God has everything in your life planned out, it is our job to be obedient and follow.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Stupid Michigan

Rose Bowl final: USC 32, Michigan 18. What a let down...at least our football team did its job. That's why you didn't belong in the championship game. Oh well there's always Bruin basketball and Charger football! I'm think I'm going to Big Bear on Thursday! Ooo man I'm excited, never touched snow in my life. This shall be interesting...plus I have no snow gear whatsoever, so we'll see how that works out...I don't think my shorts and t-shirt policy is gonna fly..