Making our God small

I've been reading Spectacular Sins by John Piper. It's a very good book, and I highly recommend it. (Unlike most Piper books, it's short and to the point!) It's not just informative but it's given me a greater understanding and appreciation of God's sovereignty, especially in the area of sin and God's sovereignty over it. One statement that struck me was: "Wimpy worldviews make wimpy Christians". How often we talk, sing, read about the greatness of God, and I have no doubt that if I was to ask a Christian, or specifically someone from GOC what he/she thought about God, I'd probably get some responses ranging from "holy, awesome, powerful, omniscient, omnipresent, all-knowing, wise, faithful, etc" but how do those beliefs manifest themselves in our daily lives? I for one often lack faith when I choose to rely on myself on how I am going to get this or that done, deciding my future, or even making everyday decisions. Where is God in that picture? I am doing the exact opposite of what it says in Proverbs 3:5-7:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and turn away from evil."

We are supposed to build our faith on the solid rock of God, not the sinking sands that are ourselves. Christianity is more than facts but not less. We as Christians often say we read the Bible to "know more about God". That statement might be inadequate depending on your definition of "knowing". "Knowing" more about God does not do the Bible, or our Lord justice. After all I could pick up a book on USC sports history and know more about it, but I could care less about it. Plainly reading or hearing the Bible does not make us more like Christ, the Pharisees knew the Word of God inside and out but all that knowledge meant nothing for their perishing souls in the end. They were exactly the kind of people James warns us not to become when he says, "Prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves." The greater our understanding of God through the application of His word, the more faithful our worldviews will be. Let's not be wimpy Christians, I don't want to be one.

Last enrollment EVER

Just enrolled for the last classes of my college career. Yikes senior year is ending quickly. Senior year has been busy and seems to only get busier as time goes on, but all to the glory of God...well hopefully I've been able to be faithful in that. Tack on work starting on Tuesday and that equals some busy times ahead. Busyness tends to bring out the worst in me sometimes. The danger of focusing too much on the busyness and not on God, forgetting to care enough about others, thinking about what I need to do next, being impatient, being terse with people, among probably other things. These all boil down to selfishness. Selfishness being an exalting of oneself, therefore a lack of humility. Well this is what Peter has to say about it:

"You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the pround, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." -1Peter 5:5-7

What a comforting promise that is, that we ought to humble ourselves before Him and cast our anxieties on Him BECAUSE HE CARES FOR US. What a boundless love it is.

after this midterm, I'm playing BASKETBALL

I've been sitting at this desk too much these past couple days, my legs feel decrepit... like that feeling you get in your legs/feet when you've just woken up from sleeping in your seat during a long flight.

Another Year of Life, Another Year Older,

Another year wiser? I can only hope to strive to learn and understand more of what Solomon writes in Provers 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge." Wow I'm 22 now. 21 is supposed to be a landmark year and in many ways it was. What a crazy year, lots of challenges, , lots of sin, lots of growth, a lot learned, and grace that abounded it all. Too much for this one page. Here's to another year of blessed life. Thank you Lord, and thank You for family and friends.

A Prayer for Patience

"The presence of impatience reveals the absence of humility, reveals the presence of self-righteousness in our lives. When we are impatient, we have forgotten God's patience with us."

-C.J. Mahaney

"Appreciate the patience of God, think how He has borne with you and still bears with you when so much of your life is unworthy of Him and you have so richly deserved His rejection. Learn to marvel at His patience and seek grace to imitate it in your dealings with others and try not to try His patience anymore."

-J.I. Packer

God, please grant me patience in dealing with every trial, every worry, every doubt. I cast these thoughts unto the only God of this universe who promises to give me rest. Amen

I GOT A JOB!

well potentially... with this Linguistics degree from the illustrious institution of UCLA I will be starting an internship as a Financial Advisor of all things. First thing people say when I tell them I got a job: "you got that with ling?? how??" Funny how things work out, I guess I have ET to partially thank for that.
Proverbs 3:5-6 is so true: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight"
The whole job search/planning for your future can bring out the worst anxieties in people. I for one had some of those fears, many of them this past summer, but if it's one thing I've learned through this is: why worry? Matthew 6 Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow because each day has enough trouble of its own and to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all things will be added to us. God will and has always provided for all our needs, so why do we so often lack trust and feel anxious?

Funny how I posted on the subject of anxiety nearly 2 years ago http://jdeezy.blogspot.com/2007/03/stop-being-so-stubborn.html I guess God still has a lot to teach me...

Brothas and Sistas

The start of Christmas break has been such a blessing so far. Spending this past weekend in norcal was a BLAST, and the best was being able to spend it with friends. Whenever I get to go out somewhere is an adventure in it of itself because I've pretty much been a homebody since I was little (though not by choice!, don't get me wrong, I do love experiencing new things!). After spending some time to look back at this weekend, remembering funny things that happened, etc, I realized that without the friends I have, much of it wouldn't have been possible. God has definitely blessed me with the relationships I have made the past few years, especially in school, and to think that in less than half a year, I'll be out of here, never to come back to the books, studying, apartment, and possibly the fellowship and church I've called home for the past few years. It's a sad reality at first, and accepting the fact that the amount of time left here is getting shorter and shorter and there's nothing I can do about it. But with great joy I can say that by the grace of God, my relationship with Him is not like those I have here. Though the relationships I have here on earth may be constantly changing over time, and we can be swayed every which way, my Savior is constant and unchanging.
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8

Procrastination

OWNS me. Now I'm paying for it. 2 research papers due wed and thurs + 1 problem set due thurs + a homework assignment that I only half understand due tomorrow. Oh jake, why you so foolish? Lord grant me joy and wisdom!

sidenote: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Thinking Heaven-ward

So this year like nearly every year before, I spent Thanksgiving with my family. Just the 4 of us. Thanksgiving has always had a special place in my heart, primarily because it was the first and only holiday that our restaurant was closed on for a while until we added 4th of July and then Christmas later. It has always been something simple and probably much different from other families. Instead of cooking, my parents take the opportunity to NOT cook, and we usually go out and eat lunch and dinner. This year seemed a little different for some reason. Maybe it was because I felt like I hadn't been home in a long time, and my parents felt it too. Being home never felt so good. When I'm all grown up and out of college I'm gonna miss this so much. Funny how we can take such a blessing like family and a comfortable home for granted for so long and then when we feel that it won't be there forever, we start treasuring it even more. But then something like heaven where we will live in for eternity after our earthly bodies have passed, we don't treasure all that much because we're so short sighted. I cling to so many things of this world.

ahhhHHH

I'm addicted to tea now. African Sunrise, sooo good. Thanks Will.
On a much colder note, our hot water's not working, so cold showers tonight. It brought me back to Ukraine when the electricity went out. Good times. A reminder from the Lord of just how good we have it here in America. Things that we take for granted because they've become so commonplace are luxuries in so many other countries around the world. A reminder from Rick this Sunday: when the men in the Bible would pray to God "give us our daily bread." That's because if God didn't give them their daily bread, they wouldn't eat that day. God, You are too good to us. I have no business being this blessed, but how often I am discontent at the most minute, trivial things. God, make in me a heart of constant adoration and thanksgiving. Amen

I had no intention of writing all that. Originally it was supposed to be something totally irrelevant like: "tea is so good" But I guess that's what the purpose of this blog is, to sit down, write, and reflect. Maybe that's why God created writing. The 10 Commandments written on stone tablets comes to mind. Our minds are too forgetful and easily swayed to rely on just pure memory. God knew what He was doing when He gave us the written Word.

I am UNdeserving

"There but for the grace of God I stand condemned, damned forever; the only thing that keeps me from it is God's grace and mercy."

Hiatus: ended

After nearly a year and a half...I'm back babyyy! (no one probably reads this anymore, but that's ok.) I have a midterm tomorrow... so it's back to studying... on a side note, Because of Your Love by Phil Wickham is a really good song, LISTEN to it.

Jesus you endured my pain
Savior You bore all my shame
All because of Your love
All because of Your love
Maker of the universe
Broken for the sins of the earth
All because of Your love
All because of Your love

Because of Your cross my debt is paid
Because of Your blood my sins are washed away
Now all of my life I freely give
Because of Your love, because of Your love I live

Innocence and holy king
You died to set the captain free
All because of Your love
All because of Your love
Lord You gave Your life for me
I will give my life to You
All because of your love
All because of your love

You did it for me, You did it for love
It's Your victory, Jesus You are enough

Living for the eternal

I do believe that Christ took the judgment from God that I rightly deserve by dying on the Cross and through that He gave me His righteousness and the gift of eternal life in Heaven, BUT if I were to die right now and go to Heaven but find that Christ was not there, would I be OK with that? Something to ponder... as Christians it's so easy for us to say "oh yeah I believe I'm going to Heaven" but do we really understand why we should want to go to Heaven?

Why do we do the things we do?

Maybe, it's because the year is winding down and everyone's in that sentimental/reminiscent mood, but last week reflecting back on the things i've done this year, it has made me wonder why i do certain things. For example last week when i went out with nate and benson to share the gospel with nate's friend over dinner, i really didn't feel that my mind and heart were truly there. Afterwards I felt that I had really failed God by not praying and plainly by just not centering my heart on Him. I mean I understand that as it says in Romans 1:16 "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." I am not the one doing the saving, it's God, but there's still that responsibility on my part to be a faithful servant to God with what He gives me. So I guess it all boils down to: am I doing ministry things, devos, prayer, or even going to church etc just for the sake of doing them and going through the motions, or am I here to glorify God and to worship Him in all that I do? because if not, it's more than just a disservice to God, I'm a hypocrite. God, I am such a sinner, my actions are so futile, please Lord help me in this.

I'll end this post with a little reminder from our good ol' friend John Piper - "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever."

Man, I want my life to be like THAT

a reminder to the brevity of life...

RIP IAIN ALEXANDER KNIGHT
Rest in peace brotha, you always told it like it was, your sense of humor, your genuineness, you will be missed...

"As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years, or if due to strength, eighty years, yet their pride is but labor and sorrow; for soon it is gone and we fly away. Who understands the power of Your anger and Your fury, according to the fear that is due You? So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom. Do return, O Lord; how long will it be? -Psalm 90:10-13

This post is a bit overdue, but has been on my mind for a long time now. My friend from high school passed away over Mother's Day weekend, thinking about it really put things in perspective for me. I know when I go out fishing I always tell people that life is short, and we really don't have 100% certainty that we'll even live to see tomorrow, but this really hit home for me. I hope this can really push me towards sharing the Gospel with my non-believing friends. After all if God is to us as the treasure is to the man in Matthew 13:44, then why would we not want to share Him with our "friends" I put quotations around friends because looking at the eternal perspective on things, our friendships here on Earth are so brief, but if we have that little inkling of possibility that they could be brothers and sisters with us in heaven, then why not? God please change my man-fearing heart!

I'm back

Hey so long time no post on this thing. These past two weeks were a struggle, but I'm back baby! Last night I dwelled on my lack of happiness lately and wondered where the heck is my joy? One verse kept popping in my mind: "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 Yes Paul, I know. I thought about that verse as I reread the first chapter in Desiring God where Piper discusses the sovereignty of God and His narrow and wide lens. This chapter truly put events in perspective, especially the bad ones, why is it that I'm having such a difficult time dealing with issues at home that are out of my control? Do I not trust in God's provision? When David fought Goliath, he had confidence that God would protect him just as He had done so many times before when he fought lions and bears while tending sheep. God has already provided me with so much, and I ought to honor and glorify Him in both my heart and my actions. Just looking back on my life and the path that God led me through to come to salvation is a sweet, sweet thing!

Spring!

It's gonna be a BUSY quarter. Big quarter, doin big thangs; all for God's glory of course. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." - Philipians 4:13

Break however was too short, leaving felt somewhat bittersweet. Thank the Lord for all He has done and is doing within the hearts of my family. I just wish I could be there to see it.

The Power of Prayer

Sometimes I forget about how powerful prayer is and rely on my own power, thinking that there are things that I can do on my own. But through these past two weeks, I'm seeing the power of prayer right before my eyes. One instance being my family suddenly deciding to go to church, which they have been doing so for about 3-4 consecutive weeks now. Hopefully this is a good church, I'm going to check it out over break (I don't know anything about it), but praise God for answering my prayers since last summer!!! So just a reminder to all you guys out there, through faith and the right motives, God can do all things. And remember to PRAY what is on your heart. God sometimes answers prayers in ways we don't expect, but He is faithful none the less. Good luck with finals everyone who still has them, and have a good Spring Break!

"So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" -Luke 11:9-13

Can't wait for spring break!

I wanna go home.

Stop being so stubborn

Funny how whenever there is a paper, or a big test coming up, I still find a way to procrastinate like RIGHT NOW!!! So this past day or two I have been reflecting upon my life, what happened in my life earlier on, the direction that God is leading me, and where I see myself in the future. Trust me, the distant future is not something I am accustomed to dwelling on, not to mention even what I'm doing in the near future like next week...I like to think of myself as someone who takes life as it comes, and hopefully consistently trusting in God to provide, but I guess one of the reasons that caused me to think about these things is finally deciding on my major. Right now, it is linguistics and east asian languages...as of now...hopefully I can say this with more confidence when I reflect on this decision more... But anyways I've been sort of worrying (not actively, but it's looming in the back of my mind) about whether or not I'm making the right decisions in life, fearing I'm not getting the most out of my opportunities here at UCLA, that I'm not preparing myself for the future, if I ever have a family would I be able to provide for them? Those sort of worries. But I realize those thoughts were sinful, I wasn't just contemplating those ideas, I was actually worrying. Worrying about what?...that God wouldn't provide?

NO WAY

Recalling Joe Penberthy's sermon during Crossroads "The Cure for Anxiety" about a month ago:

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown in to the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.. But seek first His kindom and His righteiousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34

That was a pretty good sermon I must say... My anxiety is a lack of trust, and my lack of trust is sin. God I cast down all my sinful worries and run to You because You are both sovereign and immensely loving among other immeasureable things, I just want to follow the path that You have laid out for me. Where are You leading me? I don't know, but if have true faith that You will provide everything I need, why would I need to worry about anything at all?