Funny how whenever there is a paper, or a big test coming up, I still find a way to procrastinate like RIGHT NOW!!! So this past day or two I have been reflecting upon my life, what happened in my life earlier on, the direction that God is leading me, and where I see myself in the future. Trust me, the distant future is not something I am accustomed to dwelling on, not to mention even what I'm doing in the near future like next week...I like to think of myself as someone who takes life as it comes, and hopefully consistently trusting in God to provide, but I guess one of the reasons that caused me to think about these things is finally deciding on my major. Right now, it is linguistics and east asian languages...as of now...hopefully I can say this with more confidence when I reflect on this decision more... But anyways I've been sort of worrying (not actively, but it's looming in the back of my mind) about whether or not I'm making the right decisions in life, fearing I'm not getting the most out of my opportunities here at UCLA, that I'm not preparing myself for the future, if I ever have a family would I be able to provide for them? Those sort of worries. But I realize those thoughts were sinful, I wasn't just contemplating those ideas, I was actually worrying. Worrying about what?...that God wouldn't provide?
NO WAY
Recalling Joe Penberthy's sermon during Crossroads "The Cure for Anxiety" about a month ago:
"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown in to the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.. But seek first His kindom and His righteiousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34
That was a pretty good sermon I must say... My anxiety is a lack of trust, and my lack of trust is sin. God I cast down all my sinful worries and run to You because You are both sovereign and immensely loving among other immeasureable things, I just want to follow the path that You have laid out for me. Where are You leading me? I don't know, but if have true faith that You will provide everything I need, why would I need to worry about anything at all?
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